Lose Or Chews

I'm sorry to be such a post hog today. Jennifer's post on body image got me to thinking, and then to writing. This is what came out:

"I'm part of a group that people don't talk about much...guys that struggle with body image. It's a battle I've been fighting since 6th grade. It's a battle I'll fight the rest of my life.

I don't know how to feel good about my body. There are just too many things wrong with it.

It's strange, because I hear other people talk about the things they don't like about their bodies and think, 'But that's what makes your body so beautiful and special. It's part of what makes you you - and you are awesome.' I believe that about other people, but not me.

Lately I've come to realize that despite all my hard work - the running, the core strengthening, the point counting, the eating of the broccoli and the Cod - that it will probably never be enough. I will never see a reflection in the mirror that looks anything like the muscular men with thick hair and noses in proper proportion to their faces.

But that's okay.

I don't know that I can completely reprogram myself, so I say 'Forget it.' I try to latch on to a few things I actually do like about my body...the scar by my right eye...the muscular parts of my legs...the blue of my eyes...the span of my shoulders. They're not much, but they're me.

I try to remember the compliments from others. I have never really liked my smile. Ever. But I don't know how many times people have complimented my smile. Sometimes, when I'm feeling self-conscious, I smile and think about all those people - some I barely knew - that said they loved my smile and wonder who is seeing my smile right now and enjoying it.

I want to try to give compliments liberally. If someone looks nice, I should tell them. Compliment strong legs, pretty eyes, gleaming smiles...whatever. It will make their day, maybe even their year. Plus, it might come back to me some day when I need it the most.

I still have days when I hide behind a hat or a sweatshirt. I still lean on clothes that don't really fit me when I feel like the ugliest honkey that ever walked the planet. But those feelings eventually pass and I feel okay again. The good news is those feelings don't come as often as they used to.

I'm not the perfect man, but I'm me - perfectly unique and original."

Don't forget that you, too, are a beautiful, unique and perfect person who has made a positive impact on my life. I love you all.

Listening to: Iron and Wine - "The Trapeze Swinger"